Session 62 — June 2020

Frederic connects this to his trouble with groups, recalling workshop titles about group consciousness he was once given, and observing that most people in a group feel emotion and then act from it, which is his issue.

The Wonders reply that he is afraid to express that emotion, which is why they suggested isolating himself in a room and expressing his emotions to himself; he may also share them with his wife, who loves him and will not judge him - he is the one who will judge himself.

They tell him not to judge himself for expressing emotion since that is what people normally do, whether yelling, screaming, crying or wanting to punch a wall, with the single caveat of not physically harming himself.

Each time he goes into the feelings he will find another layer and get closer to his own core.

They caution him not to expect resolution in a few minutes; if he only has twenty minutes that is fine, but he must give himself permission to come back to it, because if he does not, the mind has won and will keep winning by refusing his direction.

Frederic asks whether this connects to an earlier session about being afraid to go beyond his current sandbox, or to see himself differently, because he feared losing the good life he has.

The Wonders confirm it is all part of it.

They describe his ego, personality and mind as a perspective he created for surviving in third-dimensional reality, and note it has worked well: a great wife, a wonderful daughter, good friends and acquaintances, reasonable capability and wealth, no struggle.

Part of his mind therefore says do not rock the boat.

His whole life he has suppressed feelings by thinking his way through them in order to survive better.

The Wonders say it is now time to look at himself emotionally, that he is in fact a highly emotional person with very strong feelings, and that bringing up the suppressed emotions will restore balance between a strong mind and a strong, vibrant emotional life.

The boat will be rocked - he will feel some days as though he is in a storm and drowning - but if he stays the course he will find he does not drown, and will realize that he creates the storm and can also uncreate it, by loving himself enough to accept that expressing himself emotionally is allowed.

They tell him the intensity of love he already feels will become ten or a hundred times greater, with unexplained tearing up, and that this will be the most interesting and also the scariest journey he has been on.